baseball, coronavirus, family, food, sports, weight loss

another horrible night eating

Friday April 3, 2020

It was another stressful night at home. Again more emotional pain as a result of the fallout of the Corona virus. As usual I took to my drug of choice: food. So I ended up with another horrible night of eating the wrong stuff and eating too much of it.

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Tomorrow when I step on the scale I’m going to see a disaster. I full expect to have gained two pounds at least. That will make it official. I will have undone in one month all the good work I’ve done in the first two months of the year around weight loss. It’s discouraging to think that I’m right back to where I started the year. It almost reduces me to despair to think of what the next month of the Stay-at-home order will bring.

Yogi Berra said, “When you come to the fork in the road, take it.”

I have a different adage. “When you come to a fact in the road, face it.”

I’ve come to a fact in the road and I’m facing it. Losing weight during this stressful time for my family is not going to happen. I am now adjusting my short term goal around weight loss. My short term goal is not to gain any more weight for the duration of the Stay-at-home order. When Governor Inslee lets the state out of house arrest, I’ll re-access my situation and re-adjust my weight loss goals.

This is a bitter pill to swallow. However it’s best that I swallow it now rather than to beat up on myself and then have to swallow the same bitter pill later.

As always, we’ll see what happens.

church, family, music, vocation

for mom on her birthday

Tuesday March 31, 2020

March 31st is my mom’s birthday. She has gone to a place where I can no longer call her on the phone and wish her happy birthday. There is no present I can buy and send her. Even if I could give her presents from this day until the day I die, I would never be able to equal the gifts she has given me.

She brought me into this world and that moment was touch and go for both of us. However there have been so many more gifts from her, without which the gift of living would have been deeply impoverished. However right now I’m thinking of two great gifts she gave me.

The first was music. My mom loved music and she loved to sing. I think of the quote, “He who sings, prays twice.” My mom loved hymns and spirituals. They were her way of pouring out her soul. Sometimes in joy, sometimes in sorrow, sometimes in pain, sometimes in moments of deep gratitude. Music moved her. It spoke to her and she spoke to God through it and God spoke to me through her song. Many is the time I saw her going about the tasks of everyday life singing.

To this day I find myself going about the tasks of life singing. This day I found myself singing an old spiritual as I thought about my mom: “Keep your eyes on the prize—hold on.” She knew how to hold on. Her faith was deep and dynamic. Like any of us, it waxed and waned but hers was infectious. Her faith fed my own.

She and my dad insisted that I take up the study of music. I learned to play the clarinet, I learned music theory. It was hard work at times. However the rewards were great and I continue reap them day after day now.

The second gift my mom gave me was preaching. I used to think that I got whatever gift of preaching I have from my uncles. However about 9 years I realized it comes from my mom. She was the first great preacher I heard. Not only was she proclaiming to us through song, but she was teaching us in her non-musical words. She would tell me the stories of the Bible and then tell me what they meant. She was doing expository preaching and then applying it real life. She was preaching. And in the process she was teaching me how to preach. She was speaking to whatever gift that was in me. She was fanning it into flame so that, in due time, it could glow and warm the hearts of others. These days, whenever I stand up to preach I think of her. I thankful for the gift she gave me and for the foundation she laid.

My mom gave me so much. There is no repaying for these gifts. There is nothing I can now give in exchange for them. I feel the best I can do is to lead a life worthy of what she taught me.

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Mom, I love you. I look forward to seeing you again.